i will be gone soon

i feel right now that there is this darkness this really really scary and eeerrie lonliness thats covering me up... slow but steady.... i m going to drown.... and i m feeling the dread already... i feel like i will die very soon... and this death will be horrible and most of all lonely... i m scared... i donno what i'll do tommorow for the marketing presentation......

i want to stop... stop crying... stop getting freaked and irritated at every thing... i feel like this person who cant swim and who is drowning......

every day i look into the miror and hate what i see

its not me ... its not me...

then where am i ...
who is this i???

who is sheetal?

does she exist? any longer?

does she?

does she deserve to? does she need to...?

does it matter????

i m not a catholic ... so i wont even have a grave....

when i die, they will burn me up... they will destroy the only part of myself that exists.....

i wont even be given peace when i m gone... they will set me to fir and burn me... till my skull breaks and all that is left is ashes...... ashes and ashes......

then they will put these ashes into the ganga... and i will end....

but will i find peace?

will i find love?

will i rest?

will i stop crying?

will i?

i donno...

but i sure am dying....

so rejoice...

i will be gone soon