wierd days...

ok... so the last exam is left, english literature.

and i m up studing till 4in the morning...


college is 1hr away... paper starts at 8 am.... i get up at 9:00 am...


so i have a readymade kt...(you repeat a paper"keep term")



ok so i leave home for this party... with a few friends... namely..."ruhie

anita, aditya, meghna, aniruddh, sushan and bidisha "

so we go to this place which is called the yeor(yeouur) forest.... this place is actually inside a national park(read : spooky forest with cheetahs and leopards and hyenas and snakes and most of all....LIZARDS) ...


so we reach this place in the night... and its really shit spooky....

so we freshenup and sit in the lawn and look around n all that...

then we bring out , matresses and place them under the trees in the orchard....
and i smoke the third ciggarette...that i had ever smoked...
then frm 3 to 28 , i smoke non stop.... in between i stop for food and dancing a little... say for 5 minutes...

ok then, i start drinking...

neat neat neat vodka... neat neat neat rum....

oh man ... i get bigtime drunk... abusing, crying, falling, laughing running...

among other things , we play "truth" a game in which you all say one true but personal thing about yourself one by one...

so i said things i m never gonna get over this guy...

then i made annirudh almost cry...

and i got two almost asthama attacks... (thans to 25 ciggarettes).

i had one pack of myself... with 20 cigarettes and 7 more....

damn...

then i come back home to find out that my grandpa is on dylasis...

heart breaking news...

then saurabh come home and we talk just like that...

then i get up to leave and he catches my hand and pulls me back towards him...

i ask him to leave my hand, he doesnt listen...

deep inside i m fightin 2 things... saurabh holding my hand and the feeling which says i dont want him to leave my hands... instead i want him to pull me towards him and hold me and tell me he has changed.. thAT he just wants one one one single more chance...

but i m strong and i have to fight it.. so i almost start crying and tell him through teary eyes to pls let me go...

and i jerk away...

then i sit in the other room where he comes to talk to me... but before he can say anything, i tell him" please dont expect anything more than friendship from me..
i cAnnot give it to you... not now ... not ever"

and afer a minute of silence, he says but we can be friends...
n i say yes

then very sweetly he asks me if he can hug me...
and i hug him...

and then we break away...

and i find out "hey i can get over things"

and i m exceptionally strong.


oh thats me n him in happier times