so welll!!!

people fall in love and out of it...

and it kinda is all beautiful at first and all ahmazin and all elating...

you are always high .. like on weed...

and then... slowly things fall apart...


lets take a classic case...

you have just broken up...

you have decide you will not get into a relationship ever again and you promise yourself you will take shyt from no one and u wont change for any one and u will not be the understanding emotional impractical person that you had been... you promise yourself, that no matter what, you will not build ur life around someone who doesnt even care...

you promise not to be nice enough to overlook the fact that some one is fat or bald or skinny or.... simply ugly, that you WILL put good looks as a criteria cause you are always put through one...

you decide you WILL NAG HIM AND NOT FALL FOR THE "I NEED MY SPACE SHYT"

and then some undeserving jerk who is strictly flirting and is potential biggest mistake that you can make, whispers

"mon amour"

voila...

there you go...

awwwwww.....(the most undesirable thought/feeling)

fuckyou verymuch!


i mean seriously what is wrong with us women....?


he looks into your eyes and your eyes suddenly acquire the mechanism that is reqired to filter all the fucked aspects of him!

i mean jesus...

if only i could do that to myself do u imagine how happier life will be?
the whole point is we tend to do everything again...
we start expecting things from a species that was designed to not deliver...
we start wearing his favourite colours.. listening to his different music...(which earlier were sheer noise) just so that nextime he gushes over some dumb band, you have something to add.... to pretend hey!!!! we like the same music... lets die or shoot ourselves or something... blahhhh!

we start telling ourselves that the distance you are noticing between YOUR friend and you is not your intentional effort...

what we dont or, even worse, do realize, is that we are telling ourselves that :-

1. he wont hurt me.ever.
2. he will always love me.
3. i love him.
4. he loves me more than pink floyd/his dog/ his new bike...
5. i will get the SAME ammount of "space" in the relationship(yup i am in one!) as him!
6. he will keep me safe ... he will always hold me like he does now...

7. he wont leave.



what white lies!
how do we actually believe all this when WE KNOW!!!!!
WE KNOW THIS IS HORSE SHIT!
UN ADULTERATED HORSE SHYT!

SCIENCE SAYS TRUE LOVE LASTS ONLY FOR 12 WEEKS...

YOU KNOW WHAT...

I DONT BELIEVE THAT...

I STILL BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN FIND SOME ONE WHO WILL LOVE ME... FOREVER...

BUT I GUESS I AM A WOMAN...

ISN'T IT INCREDIBLE? 5 genuinely screwed up relationships (and i am just 22) and i still want to fall in love...

in spite of knowledge that can fill encyclopedias and which says no, love aint happenin ... and not to you .i believe in love...

because i have seen it...

i have seen true love...

"when they lifted my grandpa's body to take it away for cremation, she gave out just one tiny sob and said you brought me home as a bride , as a wife when i was just 12, and after more than 50 yrs, you just left... didn't you think of me? how will i live without you? whom will i fight with? who will worry about me? who will i dress up for.... but i wont let you down my love... i will be strong just like you had predicted just to prove you right and i will look after our children and grand children till my last breath...
because i love you...
and i always will..."




and this is why i believe in love... because i see her taking care of us... laughing, yelling, explaining, witnessing ... but in his thoughts.. in his happy thoughts all the time... knowing that he will be happy where he is cause he knows she ain't crying...

so i believe in love ... cause i owe it to them for setting an example...
for showing me what love meant.

for loving me.

i am blessed to HAVE THEM... 5 miserable relation ships or not...


here's to the 6th !

"look inside you will find a deeper love.
the kind that comes from high above.
if you ever reach your inner child,
dont cry
tell them everything is going to be alright....

-------bob Sinclair world hold on."